Maison’s Story

This world has nothing to offer me. I am not a part of it, I am simply in it.

I went to church with my family as a child, but it meant nothing to me. I thought it was something every family did on Sunday. My first experience of people passionate about Jesus was at a bible camp in my hometown called Spencer Lake Bible Camp. I went to Spencer Lake for 4 summers throughout middle school and the beginning of high school. It was the one week of the entire year where I was excited about my “Christian faith.” Otherwise, my beliefs really were insignificant.

In middle school, I was teased a lot for my overweight physical appearance. I had very low self esteem. In the final months of 8^th grade, I decided I was going to change my appearance so I would become more physically pleasing to this world before I entered high school. I lost a lot of weight, and became very materialistic.

When I entered high school, boys began to notice me. This was a first, and I thrived off the attention. The more boys who thought I was attractive, the happier I became. I quickly became obsessed with what others thought of me- not only boys, but female classmates, teachers, and community members.

I did everything I could to become popular, I loved the attention, and my popularity was where I found my identity. Part of becoming popular meant joining the party scene, especially hanging out with upperclassmen. I partied hard on the weekends while still trying to maintain a good reputation with my teachers during the week. This lifestyle lasted throughout my freshman year of high school. It eventually ended the summer following that year, when I got caught by the police and was given an underage drinking ticket. My parents, teachers, and community members found out about my destructive lifestyle. I knew my poor decisions were leading me down the wrong path.

A few weeks later was the annual week of summer camp at Spencer Lake. I went with my girlfriends as always. I saw God in a completely new perspective that week. He didn’t care what I had done over the past year- He still loved me no matter how many sinful decisions I had made. In fact, He sent Jesus to die on the cross for all those nights I had sinned against Him. That week I asked Jesus to come into my life- to take the control of my future and make me into the person He wanted me to be.

Throughout the next three years of high school, I still struggled tremendously with pride. Although I had decided to give up my lifestyle of partying, I still found my identity in my popularity. I thrived off attention and the fact that everyone knew my name. I took all the talents and blessings that God had given me and used them to glorify myself instead of Him.

When I began school at UW-Madison, everything I had been living for quickly changed. I went from being the girl that everyone knew, to a number in a system that no one cared about. It wasn’t a slap in the face- it was a complete knock-out. Everything that I found my identity in began falling apart before my very eyes. I struggled to get the same grades I had received in high school; I was alone without my parents and the comfort of my friends and family back home; my relationship with my boyfriend of two years was going downhill fast. I couldn’t handle the changes that were taking place. I was depressed and lonely without hope. My relationship with God seemed to be distancing everyday.

Then one Thursday night late in the semester, I heard a talk at Primetime (our weekly meeting for Campus Crusade for Christ) about being “shattered”.  It was about how sometimes God just needs to shatter us and completely break us down so He can really being transforming our hearts. We need to be broken in order to draw near to Christ so we can truly experience His glory. It is when we are shattered that we begin to recklessly seek Christ and know Him personally in our lives. The message honestly hit me so strongly and I began realizing so many things.

By finding my identity in everything besides God, I was basically saying, God I don’t need you to be my Rock. I can handle this on my own. But everything I had been living for had failed me miserably. And I couldn’t handle the failure. But God could, He had been waiting the whole time, just waiting for me to ask Him for help. He wanted to provide all things for me, just as He says in Matthew 6:33. He wanted to carry my burdens; all I needed to do was draw near to Him.

I began surrendering my life to Him. It wasn’t easy; slowly I continued surrendering different parts of my life to Him. The most beautiful part of the surrender though, was the freedom. I no longer had to deal with the stresses of life on my own. The God of the Universe, who loves me more than anyone in this world ever can or ever will, will deal with them for me.

Jesus Christ has radically changed my life. It such a short amount of time, I can humbly and joyfully proclaim that I am a completely different person than I was even one year ago, solely because of Jesus Christ. My journey of coming to know Jesus has been the most exciting journey of my life. Being able to live in freedom and boundless, merciful love is truly exhilarating.

I now live my life to share the love and message of Jesus Christ with others. My identity is no longer found in anything of this world, but in Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I can truly, truly, truly say that knowing Jesus personally is the most valuable thing in my life. The deepest desire of my heart is for all the people of this world to know and experience a personal relationship with Christ as well.

I want to end my story by saying that I am, by no means, a perfect person. Though Jesus has beautifully transformed many corrupt areas of my life, I am still a terrible sinner. I will be until the day I die. But because Jesus is gracious and faithful, I can continue to live joyfully knowing that He died on the Cross for my sins, and my promise awaits me eternally in Heaven.

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