Heidi’s Story

I was raised in a family that regularly attended church, but for me, church was just a place that you went on Sundays because that’s what my mother said we were doing. By the time high school rolled around, I was angry with God and I had no relationship with him. It was at that point that I decided I could manage just fine by myself. I had no need for a God that didn’t answer my prayers or one I felt didn’t care about me. I then proceeded to wrap myself up in all of my activities. Whether it was student council, ski team, valedictorian, or NHS, I strived to be the best, I helped out with all the events, and I lead every possible activity that my school had to offer. I basked in the attention that everyone gave me, and I craved the approval that I received from my teachers, parents and friends. I had a boyfriend that I spent most of my time with, and I loved the attention he showered upon me. The only downside to this “picture perfect life” was that no matter how busy I kept myself, I always had a part of my heart that was empty. The one person in my life that was always a source of strength and support when I felt like my world was crumbling around me was my older brother Brandon. He has an unfailing love for Christ that radiated through him and shined light on the darkest parts of my life. Although I did not know it at the time, God was showing me his abiding love through the love of my brother.

Although I wanted a relationship with God like my brother had, I was still too prideful and stubborn to get on my knees and ask for the help I so desperately needed. I came to Madison and did my best in the first couple of weeks to meet people, but the whole time I felt like an empty shell. I would smile and laugh, but inside I was not truly happy. It took the absolute loneliness and the feeling of abandonment that made me realize, I am not alone. I am never alone, and if I put my trust in Jesus Christ, I will always have someone to love me and care for me for who I am. So gradually through involvement in Campus Crusade and with the help of my bible study leaders, I have made some meaningful friendships, and true relationships based on the love of Christ.

I still struggle everyday with my vices and downfalls. I am a lover of people, but I have to constantly fight my desire to put people in front of God. My relationships with previous boyfriends were not healthy and were a far cry from the kind of relationship God wants to see me in. Although I still struggle and sin, I have come to realize that God has given me a gift. He has given me a heart for other people, to love them, support them and care for them, just like my brother was there for me. I praise God for his amazing love, that through an imperfect and insignificant person like me, I can share the good news to others. It is my prayer that I will be able to share Christ’s love with those who do not know the unending and unrelenting love that He has for us all.

 

Check out http://www.everybadger.com to explore questions about life and God.