The Fight of My Life

Shanice’s Story

Growing up, I was what some would call a “church kid”. I was at church every single day. My parents were both full time employees of the church and my school was right down the street, so all I knew was church and school for most of my life.  I could quote countless numbers of Bible verses and was also a straight A student in school. My church wasn’t in the safest neighborhood in Chicago. Actually, it was right across the street from the housing projects, but I loved to hang out with the kids in the neighborhood. Since I was deemed and the “good church girl”, I was a prime target to get picked on, so I had to prove my toughness to everyone around me. I began fighting around age nine and through junior high refused to stop.

By the time I turned twelve, the relationship I had with my parents was nonexistent. When I got to high school, I got around the wrong crowd and began lying to my parents, swearing, sneaking out, partying, and drinking stayed grounded for most of my teenaged years. I was too ambitious to let my habits get in the way of my grades, unlike most of the people I hung out with. So, by the time I hit junior year, most of the people I hung out had been kicked out because of their grades. My family had also moved to another church, so not only had I lost contact with most of my school friends, but my childhood friends as well.

I decided to actively pursue what I knew to be a relationship with God. The only problem was that I didn’t know what that looked like. All I knew was church. I thought if I went to church, my spot in heaven was guaranteed. I stopped fighting and drinking, but I still had a twisted perception of who Jesus was in my life. I continued to fight with God for the throne of my life through my senior year of high school.

The second semester of my senior year, I got joined a community choir where the leaders continuously encouraged us to evaluate our relationships with God and I would continuously be convicted, but continuously ignore the invitation from God.
After I made my decision to go to UW-Madison for school, the fear settled in. I had the fear of failing and disappointing my parents. The summer before I went off to college, I came to the realization that I couldn’t live my life for anyone of else.

I had just come back from SOAR and the choir had been preparing for our concert at a Monday night rehearsal. Once again, our directors challenged us to evaluate our walks with God. I knew that I had been fighting a losing battle against God. I knew that I had done wrong against him and that one day I’d have to answer to his wrath.  I also knew that he sent his son, Jesus, to die and take on God’s wrath for us and that he defeated death in his resurrection from the dead. All I had to do was accept his free gift of salvation. I cried out to God acknowledging all of these things and accepted my gift of salvation on June 25, 2007.

I am nowhere near perfect, but I live under God’s grace every single day of my life. I still have certain struggles but I know that I’d rather have it hard with God, than be lost without him. He’s won the fight for the throne of my life. If you want to know what my life was like before Christ, check this link out, Everything- Lifehouse.

 

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