Meg’s Story

All my life, I have considered myself somewhat religious. I mean, I went to church, was a nice person, and considered myself “good”. I was raised Catholic and was confirmed Catholic junior year of high school. I remember feeling guilty through Confirmation because I was not being honest toward God; my beliefs really were not “confirmed” in my mind. I let questions and skepticism stand in the way between me and Jesus. I went through the motions of praying and acting like what I thought a good Christian should be. I only prayed when I needed something or I encountered a difficult part of my life because I thought if God was really there he would show me through giving me what I wanted. Through all of my childhood, I felt no connection with God and for some reason thought that was okay. I had a great family, an amazing group of friends, and the best boyfriend….everything I could ever ask for. During High school, I thought I had it all together; I tried to win everyone over and wanted everyone to like me. I was involved in so many activities because I thought that somehow would bring me fulfillment. I went to CCD every Sunday night, but I hated and dreaded it. I had no emotion toward my religious beliefs, I only thought about it when I felt it was needed, even then I was selfish and just wanted God to show me he was real somehow.

I have been a “people pleaser” my whole life. I always tried so hard to make everyone happy and I didn’t think I could stand it if I found out someone hated me. In my family, I tried to be the peacemaker whenever there was conflict. I couldn’t stand fights and would do whatever it took to avoid them. I tried to mold myself to whomever I was with and tried to please them at all costs. This really impacted my faith in Christ because I wanted nothing but to impress others and to be what they desired me to be. I found my significance in making them happy, rather than pleasing God.

Finding out I was accepted into Madison was probably one of the most exciting moments of my life. I was so pumped to meet new friends and be in a big city. I was nervous but I couldn’t wait to experience this life. When I got to Madison, the first couple of weeks were horrible. I put on a happy face, but inside I felt so alone. Where were all my best friends? Why didn’t I fit in with these people that party all the time? Was something wrong with me? I missed home so much more than I ever thought I would. I missed the familiarity and comfort everything at home brought me. I had no clue where to turn until my friend invited me to a party that Student Impact was hosting one night. I just went not thinking much of it until I got there. Every person there was so sweet and welcoming I could not believe it, why would these upperclassmen take time to even talk to me? I decided to find out more about this group, and that same week I went to Blackhawk church and loved it. I attended Primetime, the weekly meeting of Student Impact, every week following and the second week I joined the Primetime team, which plans the weekly meetings. I joined a Bible study and now have the most amazing Bible study leaders that I look up to and admire. I have found close friends through all of this but more importantly it has brought me closer to Jesus, who I have grown to know and love.

I feel that God has used this time in my life to show himself to me through a couple of incidents; one of these being the death of my great uncle. He was the most religious man I have ever known, handing out little wooden crosses that he had carved himself to everyone he met and even to complete strangers. He loved sharing the Bible with anyone willing to listen. He spent his life dedicated to serving the Lord and was the most unselfish man I have ever known. At the funeral, as I sat there with a small wooden cross in my hand I felt compelled to be more like my great uncle and to serve the Lord. I finally felt that connection I had been longing for.

I decided to go to Fall Getaway, Student Impact’s fall retreat, to further pursue my connection with Jesus. It was during that weekend, that everything my Bible study leaders and friends had been telling me made sense. I am not perfect, but Jesus gave his life for MY imperfections. His death on the cross is the ultimate sacrifice for us; the undeserving. All I needed to do was to accept his invitation to follow his ways and commit my life to him. That weekend, I prayed to Jesus that he would take over my life. I found I can rest in Jesus in my times of trouble and that was the comfort I truly needed. I am not perfect in any way and still struggle with trying to please people. But, my life has significantly improved in that I don’t feel alone and I can just be myself because I don’t have to find fulfillment and significance through people, but through Christ. Jesus died for my sins so that I don’t have to and so that I can live in eternal life with him. He has blessed me in countless ways. It is hard for me to even think of all that Jesus has done for me, but I now have the desire to know more about him. I am still learning about my faith and this is just the beginning of my walk with the Lord, but I am excited for the rest of the journey that I’ve begun.

 

Check out http://www.everybadger.com to explore questions about life and God.