It’s about relationship, not religion
Jenna’s Story
Growing up I was what most would consider a “good kid.” I lived my life day to day trying to do what I thought was right, what I thought my parents would be proud of, and what I thought others would approve of. I went to church with my family every Sunday, with my class every Wednesday, I had religion class, and I knew that Jesus died on the cross for me. I considered myself a Christian and in my mind I just needed to be a good person and I would end up in heaven.
Man was I wrong! This reality hit me hard during my freshman year of high school. I had ‘graduated’ 8th grade, leaving my closest friends as I moved on to a whole new environment. Luckily for me, these changes led to the beginning of something amazing! It was a long, slow, and gradual process, but it all started when some friends invited me to Campus Life, a program offered by Youth for Christ on Wednesdays during our lunch period. We would listen to speakers who talked about God and Jesus, read from the Bible, and shared their personal stories. Then one day while at Campus Life the leaders invited us to a pre-screening of “The Passion of the Christ.” (If you’ve never heard of it, “The Passion of the Christ” is a movie by Mel Gibson that I highly recommend you see.) So I bought a ticket and after basketball practice one day I headed over to the movie theatre to see what I thought was just going to be another movie.
Man was I wrong again! This movie radically changed my view of Jesus! I had always known the story of Jesus’ crucifixion, but the reality that he suffered and endured so much pain, torture, and ultimately death for ME had never been more real than it was while watching that movie. Struggling with guilt and feelings of inadequacy, I met with a few of the Campus Life leaders the next day. I explained to them how I was feeling and asked them what I needed to do. It was then that I was introduced to the concept of personally asking Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior, thanking him for what he did for me on the cross, and asking for his forgiveness – essentially they explained to me the difference between religion and a relationship. It was then that I realized being a good person wasn’t what it was about or what was going to get me to heaven. It didn’t matter how often I went to church or how good of a person I was. Ultimately, the only thing that mattered was accepting Jesus Christ into my life as my Lord and Savior. By doing this, going to church and being a good person would become things I wanted to do rather than things I had to do.
So that’s exactly what I did, I prayed with the Campus Life leaders to accept Christ into my life. And that’s where the soul searching began… I realized I had been living my life for myself and unintentionally for my younger sister who has cerebral palsy. You see, Alicia is confined to a wheel chair unable to walk and talk and I guess I felt guilty about being able to do some of the things I could do, I felt sorry for her. I felt I had to prove something to myself and to her by trying to do everything simply because I had the capability of doing it; I didn’t want to miss out on any opportunity. In a sense, I felt I owed it to her to be perfect at everything and so I tried to be a perfectionist in everything I did. By doing so, I put a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself and experienced disappointment quite often.
It was through this relationship with my sister that God revealed truth to me. He revealed that Alicia didn’t need me to feel sorry for her or live her life for her. In fact, she had her own life to live, a life God created for her and her alone. I no longer needed to prove myself to her or to anyone else; I didn’t need to feel guilty about anything because my relationship with God wasn’t based on acts or good deeds. I had already found the only thing that could ever satisfy me – a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
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