Clare’s Story
I grew up in a Christian family, and we went to church EVERY Sunday (even when we were on vacation!). I thought that God was present at church on that one day of the week, but I didn’t know that it was even possible for God to be present in my life at ALL times.
In high school, I considered myself to be a Christian, but my understanding of Christianity was skewed and mistaken. I thought that being a Christian meant that I went to church on Sunday, that I was pretty sure that God existed some where out there in space, and lastly, I believed that being a Christian meant that I tried my best to be a good person who lived life with morals and values.
Under that definition of Christianity, I was doing fine. I did go to church on Sundays, but only because I knew it was important to my parents. I really wasn’t sure if God existed, and to be honest, I wasn’t all that concerned. After all, my life was just fine! I had good friends, and a great boyfriend who cared about me. I was a leader on my tennis team and had good rapport with my coaches and with my teachers. I was a moral person by the standards I created for myself—I didn’t drink or do drugs, and I tried to be nice to everyone. I wasn’t messing around with more than one guy, and after all, I had been dating that one guy for years!
Before I received Christ, I gained happiness and security from pleasing others and from pleasing myself. I definitely enjoyed being a “good kid” by my own standards and the standards of society. It was disappointing living my life this way, because I knew that I really wasn’t this perfect person that I longed to be. When I got to college, I was removed from the security of my family and familiar friends. I began to question who I truly was as a person and what I believed. I really didn’t know what my future would hold.
I knew a girl from high school who lived in my dorm, and she asked me to join a small group Bible study. At first, my motivations for coming to Bible study were the same motivations that had gotten me though high school: I thought it would make me an even BETTER person if I started reading the Bible. (Who really does that?!) In addition, I thought that my parents would be insanely pleased with me. (It’s really good to read the Bible, right?)
I started studying God’s Word. I consistently went to the large group meeting of UW-Student Impact (Primetime) where I heard messages about God’s overwhelming love for me, and how He sent Jesus Christ over 2000 years ago to die for my imperfections, so that I could have a relationship with Him. I learned that He wanted to be at the center of my life, and not just be present with me on Sundays at church. Even more than that, God has given me His Word, the Bible, to show me His moral will for my life.
I started realizing my immense need for Jesus Christ. Living by the morals and values that I had created for myself was not pleasing to God. On my own, I could never be good enough for God. When I received Christ, I realized that my life had meaning beyond what other people thought of me and what I thought of myself. Psalm 118:8 says, “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in human beings.” I started to find my identity in Christ, and not in human beings’ thoughts or expectations of me. My eyes were opened to a larger perspective that I had never been able to consider before. I began to think about the eternal implications of my life, and how things that had seemed so important really didn’t matter.
My life is filled with more contentment and security than ever before, because I know that God has a wonderful plan for my life. As I continue to grow in my walk with Him, I am continually overwhelmed with His grace. I’m still not perfect, and I recognize that I never will be. I don’t know exactly what God has in store for my life, but I am absolutely confident that it is better than anything that I could accomplish on my own!
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